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What should we focus on during the key parts of the Passover Haggadah? Here are a few insights from the ancient wisdom of Kabbalah.
“Why is this night different from all other nights?”
On this night, we feel free. Free from slavery.
“We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, and the Lord our God took us out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Had the Holy One not taken our ancestors out of Egypt, we and our children and grandchildren would still be enslaved to Pharaoh in Egypt.”
What does this slavery actually mean? Is it a historical tale that we are supposed to remember? The sages explain that the Haggadah teaches an eternal life lesson, as it is written: “The deeds of the fathers are a sign for the children.”
But what are we slaves to in our lives today? We might think that it is our boss, the government, or the many ongoing payments we need to make each month. But what truly enslaves us is our ego, which Kabbalah calls “the evil inclination.”
Why? If we take a look in the mirror, without sugarcoating anything, then we see that we cannot tolerate anyone being better than us, that our neighbor has something we do not have, that the moment someone cuts us off in traffic, they become our enemy. We have a constant “me, me, me” record playing inside us, making us want to be the best, strongest, smartest, most beautiful, and most successful person in society. This ego is our inner Pharaoh. It is a force that enslaves us from morning until night, adding a lot of burden and weight to our lives.
“It is a Mitzva to tell the story of the Exodus from Egypt, and whoever elaborates is praiseworthy.”
What does it mean to “exit Egypt”? It means escaping our ego’s control. Let us do that among each other today. Let us lower the ego between us; to stop thinking in terms of, “How am I better than everyone?” and instead enjoy the feeling of being connected, of caring about each other.
The Four Sons
“The Torah speaks of four sons: the wise, the wicked, the simple, and the one who does not know how to ask.”
All four are asking the same question: “How do we rise above our ego? How do we leave ‘Egypt’?” The term “son” (“Ben” in Hebrew) stems from the same Hebrew linguistic root as “understanding” (“Havana”). These sons represent inner developmental stages toward freedom from slavery to the ego.
The Wise Son
“What are the testimonies, statutes, and judgments which the Lord our God commanded you?”
The wise son intellectualizes and offers ideas, but provides no real solution.
The Wicked Son
“What is this service to you?”
To “you” and not to “Him,” i.e., not to the Creator. By excluding himself from the collective, he denies the core principle. He becomes the skeptic who says, “You do your thing, leave me out.” He does not trust that change is possible and accepts reality as it is.
The Simple Son
“What is this?”
The simple son fails to grasp what is going on. He does not even realize that he is enslaved, let alone know how to break free.
The One Who Does Not Know How to Ask
“You shall tell your son on that day…”
The one who does not know how to ask is not wise, wicked, or simple, but he cannot even formulate a question. He senses that there is truth in the ego’s transformation, but he is lost. He cannot open his mouth. Precisely from this place where we have no words left, the solution appears. Ultimately, we all must reach this stage.
Generational Struggle
“And it is this that stood by our ancestors and by us: For not only one enemy has risen against us to destroy us, but in every generation, enemies rise against us, and the Holy One saves us from their hand.”
Whenever we feel that the ego threatens to consume us, and we genuinely desire to rise above it, we are guaranteed redemption. What does redemption mean? It means relationships that are opposite to what we experience today: joy when others succeed, admiration for others’ children, and mutual celebration.
The sages wrote about such a state, “I saw an opposite world.” If we aspire to such loving relationships, then everyone against us will calm down, and the people of Israel will earn the world’s respect. How? It is because the upper force hardens everyone’s hearts toward us, just as it hardened Pharaoh’s, to urge our correction. When we choose to progress by ourselves toward unity and love, and become a light unto the nations, there will be no more need for pressure from behind.
The Task of the Seder Night
Around the Seder table, we should try to treat each other kindly, to stop criticizing each other, and to wish for love to dwell among us. Alongside our anticipation for delicious holiday dishes, we should also yearn for a special serving of love to appear in the center of our beautiful table, so that we each pass it on to the next. This is our common task for the holiday, to make an effort to be “as one man with one heart,” to “not do to your friend what you hate yourself,” and to “love your neighbor as yourself.” This is the essence of the Exodus from slavery to freedom.
The Process of Exiting Egypt
“And the Lord took us out of Egypt—not by an angel, nor by a seraph, nor by a messenger, but the Holy One, blessed be He, in His glory and by Himself.”
Who instilled the evil inclination in us? It was the Creator. Accordingly, He must plant within us a good inclination.
The sages note that “God” in Gematria equals “Nature” (86). This hidden force in creation is one of love, giving, and benevolence. He deliberately created us with an opposite nature so that from darkness we would discover light. As created beings, we can only recognize something through its opposite.
The Ten Plagues
“These are the ten plagues the Holy One brought upon the Egyptians: Blood, Frogs, Lice, Wild Beasts, Pestilence, Boils, Hail, Locusts, Darkness, Death of the Firstborn.”
The Zohar explains that “man is a small world,” and these Egyptians dwell within us. The entire Haggadah speaks about what happens inside, about the battle of inner forces.
Even if we do not feel it, our system of relationships is built on ten threads connecting each of us to others, threads of exploitation, mockery, and manipulation. The plagues show us where the root of our suffering lies. They aim to cut off these negative ties and rewire us for kindness. Each plague severs an old connection and installs a new one, like unplugging ten old cables from a device and plugging in new ones, rewiring our inner circuitry.
“Dayenu” – It Would Have Been Enough
“How many good things has the Omnipresent done for us! If He had taken us out of Egypt and not executed judgments on them—it would have been enough…”
This long list teaches that we can attain anything if we only possess the positive force. Just like the feeling of warmth and mutual help that we should feel among us during this holiday, if we continue with this attitude into daily life, we will be blessed with all good things.
Next Year in a Rebuilt Jerusalem
When the people of Israel become a model of life based on connection and love, we will illuminate the entire world. Those who hate us will become our supporters, and they will come bearing gifts, as Isaiah the Prophet said, “Nations will carry your sons in their arms, and your daughters shall be carried on their shoulders.”
“Who knows One? One—I know: One is our God in the heaven and the earth.”
This same positive force we begin to feel in our unique connection during the Passover holiday is the One who governs all of reality. The more we become like Him in our relationships of love, the closer we draw come to true freedom.
Happy Passover!
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