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Animals have no relationship or marriage counselors, or family therapists. They also do not struggle to choose suitable mates. By sense of smell or other physical checks, they identify optimal partners. Only with us is there chaos.
Today, the ego has developed to such overblown proportions that the family unit is falling apart, not to mention the state of romantic relationships. More and more people say to themselves, “Why do we need the headache?” But there are no mistakes in nature. If from the beginning two genders were created, male and female, then the current collapse is likely a stage in progress toward a completely different kind of connection.
If we condense an entire wisdom into a few sentences, it would be that there is human nature, the nature of the world, operating laws, and a developmental trend in the system. We see that the world is becoming more and more interconnected, and in contrast, human nature has become more egoistic and narrow. It is as if we are all in one boat but unable to get along with anyone, whether at home, at work, on the roads, in the country, in humanity overall, and with the entire environment. The difficulties intensify every day, and in the end, everything will converge to a crossroads: either we learn to live with connection and wholeness, or we simply will not survive.
From this perspective, the integral approach to education treats the couple’s relationship as a home lab for developing the ability to connect optimally to others, up to the level of love. Within a group setting, couples learn how to help one another rise above the limitations of our narrow perception. To break through together into a new reality, with excitements and pleasures from a much higher level. The learning includes exploring nature, workshops that clarify various issues, special connection exercises, and more. The participants form a close bond, and they help each other in progressing through the process.
One of the topics that an integral approach to education deals with is why there are two genders in nature that need to complete each other in order to continue life. What does it mean? Where does it lead? There is nothing superfluous in nature, and if something developed in a certain way, it is probably because evolution requires it. What is the issue here?
How are the different genders supposed to complement each other? What exists in the male nature that does not exist in the female, and vice versa? What will happen if we do not complete each other? Where exactly will we remain lacking? How will our lives not be whole?
If one partner completes the other, do they give something the other did not previously have? Also, what does that do to partner who gave of themselves to their partner? Do they now lack what they gave? Or maybe in that very giving, they also completed themselves?
Also, let us suppose that a couple completes each other in an ideal way, and every protrusion in one fills the lack in the other, and vice versa. Where does that take them?
Why does mutual complementarity turn two into one? What do they achieve in mutual complementarity that no one has when alone? Why is that so special? Also, what do such partners radiate to their children? How will it affect their lives over time?
Questions like these and others are clarified in the group process, and they help participants develop a new view of relationships and the family unit. One of the subjects is learning the male and female natures. Here is an example of an exercise that helps with this.
A small doll in the shape of a woman is taken and placed on the table as representing the female gender as a whole. Now the women are asked to describe her inner world. What does she want? What is she afraid of? What does she expect? What are her hopes and aspirations? What stresses her? What annoys her? Women should answer these questions in relation to men, to family, to their careers, and to life in general. Anything that comes up is excellent and is written down on a page. The exercise’s next stage deals with categorizing, prioritizing, and factoring in the data.
The purpose of the exercise is to help men become generally familiar with women’s nature. A similar exercise is of course done with a doll in the shape of a man.
At a more advanced stage, a similar exercise can also be done at home. The dolls will help the couple refer to themselves in the third person, examine their drives, clarify their demands from each other and from themselves, and how they can help and complete each other.
Evolutionary forces are pushing us to develop the ability to feel the other as ourselves. The couple’s relationship can serve as a home lab for performing such an upgrade. From there will come its future importance. The integral connection to others will open a new depth in sensing nature, a higher dimension, and a different level of existence. Developing our connections in such a way leads us to discover the perfection and unity of nature, and our balance with it. These are such wonderful phenomena that are completely beyond our present-day comprehension.
Bottom line, the world of tomorrow can only be a connected one. The only question is how quickly we will grasp our need to positively connect and begin to prepare for it.
Based on episode 37 of “New Life” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
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