What does it mean to have a sincere connection with another person?
We might think that sincerity means being completely understood, being able to reveal everything about ourselves, or simply feeling comfortable in another person’s presence. But none of these qualities necessarily constitute a genuine bond.
We are naturally guarded. We do not really want to open ourselves completely to others, and even when we find someone with whom we feel at ease, it is difficult to maintain that feeling consistently.
A genuine bond is different.
It begins when I love another person and constantly want to do good for them.
This completely changes the usual way we think about bonding. Normally, I evaluate a relationship according to what I receive from it: Does this person understand me? Do I feel comfortable with them? Can I trust them? Do they make me feel good?
In a true bond, however, the direction is reversed.
Instead of asking whether the other person makes me feel good, I begin to feel that I want to make things good for them.
That desire itself is the bond.
The same principle applies to our relationship with the Creator, the quality of love, bestowal, and connection, but on a higher level. A genuine bond with the Creator is based on what Kabbalah calls “equivalence of form.” This means that I want to relate to the Creator in the same way that He relates to me.
But here we encounter a fundamental problem: my nature is not like the Creator’s nature.
I am naturally concerned with myself. I calculate according to what benefits me, what gives me pleasure, and what protects me from suffering. I cannot simply decide to reverse this nature and begin relating to everything with love and bestowal.
Moreover, this very nature was created in me by the Creator.
Therefore, if I want to become similar to Him, I must ask Him to change me.
And something remarkable happens here: the request itself becomes the connection.
I turn to the Creator because I recognize that I cannot change my nature by myself. I ask Him to give me the ability to relate to Him as He relates to me, i.e., to acquire the quality of love and bestowal.
At first, even this request cannot be completely sincere. Egoistic calculations are still mixed into it. I may want closeness to the Creator because of what I expect to receive from that closeness.
But I continue asking.
Gradually, the request becomes clearer and more sincere until I truly want the change itself.
This is the beginning of a genuine bond: not asking what I can receive from another, but wanting to do good for them. And with the Creator, it begins with a request to become like Him, i.e., to resemble the quality of love, bestowal, and connection itself.
Based on KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman on June 5, 2026. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.