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Couples who have suffered enough from negative relationships can be considered ready to move ahead with a new perception of the essence of connection between people and among society.
What is that connection? What is missing today at home is also missing in the interconnected world. It is the ability to rise above the narrow ego, the desire to enjoy ourselves at others’ expense, which is the inner force that destroys all relationships.
How can we create a more advanced reality of complementary connections? The integral approach to education provides principles and exercises.
The first principle says that connection is built on mutual concession, and the second principle is “love will cover all transgressions” (Proverbs 10:12).
Love can be likened to a pet that a couple raises at home as a result of mutual concessions. By nature, each sees flaws, lacks, and defects in the other, each holds a list of demands that their partner should fix, but it leads nowhere positive.
If we take a moment to recall how a loving mother sees her child, we will see that her viewpoint is different from the one usually present in a couple’s relationship. For her, her child is charming. Even if something is imperfect in her eyes, she is forgiving, accepting, and understands that nature created her child that way. Therefore, she tries to help her child develop. She comes with eyes of love, and then everything looks different. Therefore, the child feels secure with her, and the warm bond with her nourishes the child as they grow up in life, like the milk nursed from her.
When we learn to develop a similar attitude toward others, we will see how everything starts to align.
The couple’s relationship can serve as a kind of home laboratory in which we explore our attitude toward ourselves and to others, and learn to connect. Love, in the full sense of the word, signifies the most complete form of connection.
In the integral approach to education, we explore such attitudes in a group setting, with other couples who support each other. Together, they learn about human nature, the nature of the world, and the integrative developmental trend that leads to complete human connection.
One such exercise is titled “Connected at the Summit.”
Mutual concession and support leads to a positive connection between partners, until we no longer feel where “I” end and “you” begin, and we merge into one another in full complementarity.
What this means is that everything that is important, dear, and good for our partner, will be important, dear, and good for us, because it is important, dear, and good for our partner.
Also, it works exactly the same the other way around: Everything that is important, dear, and good for us, will be important, dear, and good for our partner, because it is important, dear, and good for us.
If we manage to grasp a little of this elevated picture, then we work to help each other not to descend from it even one step.
The rationale behind the exercise states that wherever we direct ourselves is where we eventually reach. Intention awakens natural forces within us and in our surroundings that help us progress toward that goal. It depends on persistence, investment, and on repeatedly imagining ourselves as truly living in that picture.
That is what it means to be “connected at the summit,” i.e., at the highest point of connection, which is perfect, beautiful, and radiant. From there, we can relate to ourselves and to the whole of reality. I wish us all great success in reaching such a perfect and harmonious state.
Based on episode 38 of “New Life” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
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