Dr. Michael Laitman To Change the World – Change Man

Does the First Love Always Leave a Permanent Mark?

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Why is our first love mostly never realized? Why does it pass like a dream that never quite touches the ground? It is so that we would always dream about it, not the person, but the feeling itself. That soaring sensation, one of an all-consuming readiness to give ourselves completely for another person, stays with us. It is what the upper force that created and sustains us—which we call “the Creator,” “God,” and “Nature” in the wisdom of Kabbalah—wants to plant in our hearts through the first loves that it gives us.

If we were to truly connect with our first love, the full grasp and fulfillment of that feeling would have also extinguished it, making it ordinary and mundane. Instead, we are given this feeling in a way that is not to be attained physically. It is placed before us so that we would constantly strive for it, yearning and reaching. That feeling becomes a compass, pointing us to something higher.

It is a feeling that becomes stored in our memory bank, remaining hidden inside, like a splinter in the heart that never goes away, and we all carry it.

However, do we truly love the person who we think about as our first love? No, we do not even really see them. We do not look at the actual person, but a spark, something that has been placed there to ignite us. That spark captivates us, making us want to be near it forever.

The purpose of this spark is to make us feel that love exists, and together with it, a sensation of longing, an aching emptiness, a sweet pain, which becomes our first taste of spiritual yearning.

Usually, no one marries their first love. It is because this experience, which involves our feelings, dreams, and longing, is orchestrated by the single higher force that exists in nature. Nature is behind our every feeling, flavor, and state, guiding us to eventually uncover its own quality of love toward us, step by step.

Rarely it does happen that people meet early in life, fall in love, marry, build a family, and grow old together. I have seen such cases, and they are very interesting to observe. These couples often have many children. They seem to understand each other deeply, without words, and they are usually happy.

But these cases are extremely rare. They are a kind of gift from above. A sign.

Ultimately, however, what are we being shown? It is that we must seek love that is eternal, higher, and true. It is not love between a couple, or for a party or homeland, but love for nature itself, the very quality of love and bestowal that created and sustains us.

How do we come to that love? It is through developing love for other people. Love not just for those in whom a spark makes me feel something special toward, but love for absolutely everyone. Through the love of others, we come to love nature itself. In the wisdom of Kabbalah, this is called “from love of man to the love of God,” since “God” and “Nature” in Kabbalah are one and the same.

That is the ultimate truth behind the sensation of our first love: to give us a taste that love exists, and that the same kind of yearning and longing we naturally apply to that first love, we should apply voluntarily in order to achieve “from the love of man to the love of God.”

Based on KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman on July 6, 2025. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman

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