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If someone already decides to get married, what are the chances they will not get divorced? What does that say about the level of understanding today regarding relationships, family, and connection? How did we reach a situation where people are unhappy in their personal lives, many even suffering and extremely irritable? We have reached a state where we need to understand where marital failure begins. Afterward, maybe, we can also think together about what might be worth renewing.
In the twentieth century, we underwent very significant changes. The family, which throughout history had been the nest where humans grow up, began to lose its status. Until then, a person could not survive without a family. Food, home, income, health, education, support in sickness or trouble, everything came from the family. Suddenly, more and more systems arose that let people live alone, from supermarkets, microwaves, and washing machines through to health funds, national insurance, and pensions.
At the same time, there were changes in the job market. If in the past women lived at home and men went to work, in the new reality both went out to earn a living. So in the morning they leave early, drop the kids off at care before heading to work, in the afternoon they have to manage their extracurriculars and enrichment, and in the evening they come home exhausted to their kitchens, dishes, and laundry. Each has their own world in their smartphone, and only at night, sometimes, they meet, drained, in bed.
Where is warmth? Where is the feeling of home? Where is the enjoyment of the romantic relationship and of family life?
Apparently, there were people for whom it paid off to build us this lifestyle. Whether they were aware of it or not, in the end, social norms are a kind of dictate. Our awareness is engineered in that which fills the pockets of the wealthy. In a sense, we are no more than a mechanism for generating profit at our expense. After all, if a couple lived together and now lives apart, they immediately have to double their consumption, each with their own apartment, more furniture, and so on.
So they promoted a culture that encourages living alone. Divorce used to be rare, but today it has become standard. Marriage used to be a given, whereas today it is a matter of preference. Children used to be had with joy, whereas today people wonder if it is worth delaying career development. In general, it is unclear that in such a difficult world it is worth bringing in anyone besides oneself.
We have a long list of governmental departments, including those for health, culture, and education, and we have psychology, sociology, and entire faculties of social sciences, but where is the person who is actually happy?
On the surface, everything operates to help us develop pleasantly, but in reality, do we see that many smiles around us lately? We are living in the age of tranquilizers.
It is also important to remember that the human ego is constantly growing, and today it has already reached such proportions that there’s no room beside it for anyone else.
More importantly than continuing to describe the factors that led to the destruction of marriage and the family, we should reach a simple realization: without a revolution in how we view romantic and family relationships, there is no chance anything will improve in this area. The modern person sees no need for such relationships in their current form, and until we discover a new goal for our relationships, a higher meaning, and convince ourselves it is worthwhile to pursue such a goal, there will be no future and no hope in this field.
Based on episode 27 of “New Life” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
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