At a Jewish wedding, the bride and groom get married under a wedding canopy (Chuppah). This wedding canopy symbolizes the union of the bride and groom. The single covering above them and the other elements of the ceremony symbolize the aspiration to unite. The breaking of the glass hints at that initially we do not possess a common vessel, because by nature we are each broken, egoistic, and connected only to ourselves. Yet we wish to grow. We wish to rise together above the limits of egoism and build a mutual bond of love.
Difficulties will certainly arise along the way, but we agree to cover everything with love, as it is written, “Love covers all transgressions” (Proverbs 10:12).
Under the wedding canopy, the verse “If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget its skill” is recited to hint that the union of bride and groom symbolizes the unity of the nation. We seek to reconnect the people of Israel in the Land of Israel and make Jerusalem the capital of love. The inner meaning of this is that we wish to connect everyone who hosts a desire for the force of love and bestowal to dwell among society, that these people connect via that common desire, and that they make that desire the passageway through which the upper force of love and bestowal can enter human connections. This depends on our ability to build, between our hearts, a place for the revelation of the inner force of nature, whose qualities are love, bestowal, and connection. This is the meaning behind the saying: “When a man and a woman are worthy, the Divine Presence dwells between them.”
The greatest blessing for a young couple is that they learn how to concede to one another. Two egoists are like oil and water, they naturally repel one another. Only when each is willing to give way a little for the sake of the other can they truly connect.
A family is built through mutual concession. Each person must learn to make room in their heart for the other. This is how they can gradually enter more deeply into one another’s world, creating a common space in which they become united as one.
This process is quite complex though, as rising divorce rates clearly demonstrate. We are not taught what connection really is, what it means to concede, why it is necessary, or what can be gained from a healthy partnership. In addition, young couples often receive little support from society before or after the wedding.
One way or another, we will eventually realize that we have no choice but to learn how to positively connect with one another, in marriage, society, and throughout humanity. In an interconnected world, we are all in the same boat, and if we do not learn how to harmoniously connect, we risk sinking together.
Based on “New Life 167 – Ceremonies – Weddings” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.