Everyone has an ego, it is natural. But life places us all in the same boat. If we do not learn how to get along, we will likely sink together. How can we build a new perspective on our relationships with others?
We live within the system of nature, which consists of the still, vegetative, animate, and human levels. The inner force that drives every creature is the desire to exist and feel good. The size, character, and quality of this desire distinguish one creature from another. Instinctively, every being acts according to its desire, and nature forms an integral system the parts of which complement one another. This is how the magnificent web of life emerges.
What lifted the human being above the animal world was the development of desire. A growing desire to receive more and more awakened within us, and thus we built an extensive human civilization.
However, as desire developed, it also became increasingly egoistic and narrow. People began to take pleasure in exploiting others and placing them beneath themselves. The desire emerged where we each wanted to be richer, more powerful, more respected, the strongest, the most successful, to do whatever we want and consider no one else. In response, societies created laws and norms intended to limit the harm people could inflict on those around them. For example, laws against slander were enacted and punishments were established.
Yet despite these efforts, the ego continues to grow stronger, causing the harm we inflict on one another to increase as well.
Simultaneously, the world has become more interconnected and interdependent than ever before. Today it is increasingly clear that struggles for dominance could bring disaster upon us all. We live in an era where the anxiety of nuclear war, ecological collapse, and economic breakdown constantly loom. Who would have imagined that in the 21st century, we would face food crises? When we pause for a moment and stop running, we begin to realize that temporary fixes will not solve the problem. We face a fundamental issue: our ever-growing egoistic nature. What we need is a method for building a new kind of connection between people.
The integral approach to education is based on work in a group setting. Its guiding principle is the collective creation of an environment that radiates new values, a new feeling, and a new perception of reality.
To achieve this, participants study human nature. They examine what motivates people, what governs them, how they perceive the world, and how destructive competition affects them. At the same time, they observe the nature of the world itself: the increasingly interconnected form that life is taking today and how it influences us. Afterward, they discuss the state we aspire to reach.
The group serves as a laboratory where participants attempt to build a miniature society that operates according to the desired model. Alone, a person cannot rise above their ego. But if everyone around them speaks about the importance of consideration, mutual assistance, and support, about the tremendous achievements such attitudes can lead to, how they can improve our health and emotional well-being, and how much security and happiness they can provide, then each participant gains the desire and strength to move in that direction.
Words alone are not enough. There must also be a positive example. Every participant should try with all their strength to relate kindly to the others. Even if they feel nothing for them in their heart, they should imagine that they love them and act from that imagined love. The goal is to artificially build the future state we wish to attain, to act and play it out as though it already exists.
Here, the principles of “habit becomes second nature” and “today’s game becomes tomorrow’s reality” come into play. These principles are part of a comprehensive method that is worth learning and applying.
Several additional points are important for successful group work. First, it is essential to make a collective decision that from now on, in our small circle, we will not let negative attitudes arise between us, not in thought, speech, or action. We will do our utmost to think positively about each other and to treat each other with the greatest kindness. We will not be embarrassed to show that we are making an effort, because by doing so we help others make a similar effort.
In addition, before coming to a group meeting, we should prepare ourselves inwardly with an attitude of love. We should begin every process by building a connection between our hearts until we feel that, at the center of our connection, a kind of glowing point is formed, one that is warm, sweet, and vibrant. We should hold on to it together and, out of concern not to lose it, approach every discussion and activity from within that common feeling.
Gradually, we will see new emotions, thoughts, and qualities, and a new outlook on life developing within us. They will arise naturally from within. Suddenly, we will discover a desire to give, to help, and to love. These qualities will feel elevated, noble, and unquestionably right and good. We will be filled with tremendous inner strength that helps us overcome our egoistic nature and live in connection and harmony.
At every stage of the group’s development, we will raise the bar. We will define an even more advanced form of relationship and begin acting it out together. This is how we consciously advance ourselves to the next stage in the development of humanity and society, a stage in which everyone is connected with everyone else in complete integration.
Through this connection, we attain the inner force present throughout nature: the single force that underlies creation. It is the force of life itself, and its quality is that of love and bestowal.
Based on “New Life 162 – Corrected Relationships – Gossip and Slander, Part 2” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.