A well-known Hasidic tale tells of a king’s daughter who fell gravely ill. No cure could be found for her until a wise man arrived and said that only one remedy could heal her: she must wear the shirt of a person who is truly content with his lot.
The king immediately sent messengers throughout the kingdom to find someone genuinely satisfied with life.
First, the messengers approached the wealthy and asked whether they were content with what they had. But the rich only told them about all the things they still lacked in order to be happy. The messengers then went to people of the middle class, but there too they could not find a single person satisfied with life.
The king was on the verge of despair when suddenly a breathless messenger arrived and reported that far from the palace there was a forest, and its ranger was always content with his lot. Distinguished envoys were immediately dispatched to the forest.
When they met the ranger, he asked what had brought such important people to see him. They explained the kingdom’s predicament and asked, “Is it really true that you are always content with your lot?”
“Without a doubt,” the ranger replied. “I lack nothing in life and enjoy everything.”
The messengers asked him to give them one of his shirts for the sick princess.
“Believe me,” the ranger answered, “if I had a shirt, I would gladly give it to the princess immediately, but I don’t have one.”
Through this story, my teacher RABASH illustrated for me the concept of delighting in mercy, called “Hafetz Hesed” in Hebrew. It is the first spiritual degree to which a person ascends with the desire to correct oneself: to be happy and to bring happiness to others.
Since human desire is so immense, a person is not satisfied with little and is not content with their lot. They always need more, something that will give them an advantage over others. Therefore, at every moment in life we compare ourselves to others: Is my house bigger than theirs? Is my car newer or more expensive? Are my children smarter? Is my partner more beautiful?
We constantly measure ourselves against others, whether consciously or unconsciously. If we can confidently answer “yes” to any of those questions, we feel good. If not, we immediately seek compensation, otherwise life itself can seem not worth living.
The ego’s psychology is subtle and profound, and its motivations are so deeply hidden that even when we feel a desire to help others, for instance, by volunteering at a hospital, on a subconscious level we might be doing it in order to feel healthier ourselves. Even bringing children into the world can stem from a desire to feel better about ourselves.
The first correction, therefore, called “delighting in mercy,” is to stop comparing ourselves with others. It is as though we are alone in the world, or alone in a forest. When we stop evaluating ourselves in relation to others, we detach ourselves from every comparison, whether positive or negative.
If so, in what sense are we considered “delighting in mercy”? What kindness do we show others if we sever all comparison and relation to them?
At the first stage, the kindness lies in the fact that we at least stop causing harm. Rising above the fundamental ego is a tremendous achievement. From this degree onward, we begin to see the world through different eyes, on a different wavelength.
If humanity were to rise to such a spiritual degree, our entire perception of the world would change. Everything we have built on comparison and competition would be stripped away, leaving only what is necessary for our existence. After we stopped harming each other, and we each became content with our lot, we would then be able to do good in the world, to act with genuine love for others.
Based on “New Life 161 – Corrected Relationships – Gossip and Slander, Part 1” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.