Dr. Michael Laitman To Change the World – Change Man

What Is More Important in a Relationship: Chemistry or Shared Life Goals?

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There is a known phenomenon where a guy walks into a room and is presented with a series of test tubes, each filled with a different scent. He chooses the one he feels drawn to the most, and then he is told, “This scent matches a particular girl.” Likewise, the girl selects the test tube that matches that particular guy’s scent. It sounds creative, even romantic in a way.

Scent as a factor of partner matching is an old and natural phenomenon, and in recent years there has been increasing scientific support for the idea that humans are biologically “matched” or drawn to partners based at least partly on scent.

The sense of smell is deeply rooted in us. The brain areas responsible for processing scent are vast. Smell affects us powerfully, even unconsciously. We are drawn to or repelled by people based on it. Perfume and body chemistry all plays a role, but while it is important, scent is not what should determine a life partner.

The true criterion for choosing a partner is neither smell, appearance, status, or shared hobbies, which are all external layers. The real match happens at a deeper level, when two people align in their intention toward the purpose of creation.

If people were genuinely striving toward that common, elevated goal—understanding why we are here, and what we live for—it would be much easier to find a partner. It is because then, at the core, we would not be so different. That singular purpose would unite us.

It sounds lofty. Talking to young people about the purpose of creation might seem out of place. But what alternative do they have? What do they end up with instead? Just some fleeting transient love that quickly fades. That is what happens when there is no deeper foundation.

So what should young people really understand? Before you ask, “Who do I want to be with?” ask, “Why am I getting married?” If you cannot answer that, how can the relationship endure? Today, people meet, have kids, and part ways. There is no anchor or mutual path.

All that can truly hold two people together is a mutual connection toward the ultimate goal. Without it, even the strongest emotional or physical connection will fade.

Marriage is beyond being just about love or attraction. It is a conscious step toward a greater goal: to reach the purpose of creation together. That includes not just the partner, but the environment around us, friends who support that same direction.

What is the ultimate purpose? It is to discover the upper force that governs our lives, to understand the system we exist in, the meaning behind our existence, and the source that guides us.

If this thirst for discovery, for spiritual meaning, exists in both partners, then they have the chance to build something that lasts. Together, they can help each other rise to that goal. That is what a true partnership is all about.

Based on KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman on June 4, 2025. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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