There was an unfortunate case recently of a 20-year-old calling the police multiple times in severe mental distress. Eventually, the officer on duty who took her calls lost patience, telling her: “Kill yourself quietly already.” Weeks later, she committed suicide. The officer who took her calls claimed that he felt deeply ashamed, and became immediately removed from his position. Each of us seemingly has a certain limit before we totally lose it and no longer are in control of our actions. Why are we made that way?
We are made with a certain limit beyond which we lose control in order for us to be able to eventually change our nature from the desire to receive to the desire to bestow.
When we relate to others out of an attitude of bestowal, where we purely wish to benefit them without any self-interest intertwined, then we understand them and their pains. Then, instead of losing our patience with them, we discover opportunities to help, support, praise and elevate them.
We should thus focus on increasing our sensitivity to each other, which is achieved first and foremost by listening to explanations of how interconnected and interdependent we are. By increasing our inclination to positively connect throughout human society, then we attract upon ourselves the positive force of connection that dwells in nature, and by doing so, we eventually start feeling that we live in a single system.
Such is the shift from the corporeal animate level of existence that we currently live on, to an awakening into a whole new human level of existence, where we feel ourselves as parts of a single whole. In such a state, we would feel close to each other, and we would have no sensation of others stressing us out or pushing us out of balance. Instead, we would seek opportunities to help, support and encourage others.
We would then view people who approach us with requests for help as doing us favors. It would no longer be difficult for us to connect with others, to feel and serve them. The more people would call us and nag us, then the more we would feel that such people help us rise from the animate level of existence to the human level—where we are in a mode of constant giving without a shred of selfish interest intertwined—and we would thus realize the purpose of our lives through this egoistic-to-altruistic transformation of our attitudes and relations.
Based on the video “Why Do We Lose Control All of a Sudden?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Oren Levi. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
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